I suck.

It has been a while. A loooooong while. Too long. I haven't worked out or watched what i've been eating in almost four months.

I suck. I suck so bad that I weigh more than when I started this fucking thing.

I am pissed and disappointed beyond words. So it's time for rededication. I don't want to die. I want to live and be healthy and a good role model for my children.

Last night Vanessa and I did he Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred video and I'm pretty sure that she's the devil. With fantastic abs. She pushes you, punishes you and I'm pretty sure that if I stick with it, it's going to help.

Diet needs to change significantly. I need to figure this out again. I'm so out of the habit of eating well.

Rededication. Starting over. This is it. No more excuses, you fat fuck.

Also, this is no longer a PG blog. We're going hard R. Sorry. There are no publishing limitations any more, and this is for me, more than you. So it is what it is. Stick around.