Day 41.

OK, finally, an official blog.

And, as promised, stinky shoes.

When I go to the locker room after working out, I take my shoes off, my knee braces and then my socks. The socks and braces go into my dirty laundry bag and the shoes into my locker while I shower. The past few times, after showering and opening my locker, the smell has been... overwhelmingly awful. Painfully stinky. Like, whoa.

I bathe regularly (obviously), wear clean socks and change them after the gym and only wear those shoes to the gym. I even spray my shoes down with TOUGH ACTING TINACTIN! But it smells like the Mummy farted a 10,000-year-old extra spicy Bean Burrito fart in my locker. I wonder if everyone's locker smells this bad? And I REALLY wonder about the guys who wear street shoes to exercise and then don't shower. Oh, man.

Aren't you glad I shared?

Today was a great workout day. I hit the gym and did the Fat Burner on the Hell Machine, lifted some (vertical chest press and the pull down bar thing), did abs and lats as well as legs. Then came home, played with the kids, put them to bed and did the 40 Minute Fat Burner YRG workout.

I'm sore as hell, but in a really good kind of way.

Breakfast:
1 serving of Special K granola cereal with Vanilla Yogurt
2 pieces of Protein Plus toast with Apple Butter

Post-Workout Snack:
1 serving of Vanilla Protein Shake

Lunch:
1 piece of leftover, homemade pizza

Dinner:
Lean Cuisine, possibly Santa Fe Chicken but I don't remember
Steamed broccoli, cauliflower and carrots
2/3 of an apple
4 fish sticks (I made these for Matt, but he took a bite of one when it was too hot and FUH-REAKED out and wouldn't touch the rest.)

Snack:
1 serving of Rice Krispies with Vanilla yogurt and strawberries

Lots of water. My Interpersonal Communications prof noticed me pulling two bottles out of a brown bag and commented on me staying well hydrated. Kind of awkward.

See you tomorrow.

Day 40.

One day I'll give you a real update again, I promise. Right now I'm just trying to get caught up on life.

I did manage to hit the gym today and do 40 on the Hell Machine and lifted as well.

Thanks for checking in. One day I will reward your patience. I promise. Here's a teaser: stinky shoes.

HOW EXCITING!

Day 39.

Things are hectic and frazzled and out of control right now. So quick one tonight.

Did yoga for 40 minutes. Felt good. Tired. Going to bed.

Days 37 and 38.

Sorry that last night is late and today is early. Things are all discombobulated.

Did the 40 minute DDP yoga vid yesterday and it was awesome. It didn't feel like 40 minutes but it pushed me and I was DRIPPING with sweat. But I felt awesome afterword. I had intentions of doing it again today, but I've got too much fricking homework to do. So today is my day of rest for the week. An official, no work out at all one.

Oddly, my Interpersonal Communications speech is about Yoga for Regular Guys! I suppose that it isn't actually all that odd because that's the exact reason that I ordered the book. So it isn't odd at all. Ignore the original odd statement. Ignore this entire paragraph, actually.

I forget what I ate yesterday and today isn't even half over so I have no idea what I'm going to eat. But this is a quickie, just a check-in to let you know that I'm not dead and that I miss you all.

See you tomorrow with a more official update.

Day 36.

OK. I had the best intentions of today being a good, healthy day. But the best laid intentions of mice and men often go awry.

For me, awry means ginger snaps. I like them. A lot. And the bag was a dollar. You can't fight that. Plus, they're freaking delicious.

And I don't have any clue how many I ate. I was hanging with Dan and Miles watching Bitch Slap, which is every bit as ridiculous and over the top and RIDICULOUS as it sounds. Not good, by any stretch, but fun bad. And we got snacks. Dan and Miles bought Friday's Pizza and Buffalo Sticks both of which were disgusting and I'm pretty sure are going to equal diarrhea for all three of us. That's kind of gross. Sorry. But the ginger snaps were awesome.

Totally not good for me, or my diabetes.

I did some time in the gym, doing the Fat Burner program on the Hell Machine. I expected the default time to be 60 or 30 minutes, because that is what the machine always defaults to. But it was 28 minutes. It was one of those varying intensity things and I burned a bunch of calories but... 28 minutes? I was supposed to do more, not less.

I also did triceps, biceps (I figured two days in a row was OK because I'm taking the weekend off from weights), lats, abs and then legs. All over in the legs, including the two machines where you squeeze in with the thighs or push out with the thighs--FRICKING OW, FYI. Those machines suck. They don't seem that intense, but they are.

It was a good workout. But those ginger snaps kind of ruined it.

Yoga this weekend. And homework. Dammit.

Breakfast:
2 servings of Special K Vanilla Almond cereal with milk
2 pieces of white toast with apple butter

Lunch:
Frothy Chocolate protein shake
Giant bottle of water
2 Vegetarian Oat Cake things

Dinner:
Chicken Makhani
Curry Chicken
Dal Makhani
Rice
Naan

Snack:
Those damn ginger snaps.

Lots of water today. I peed so, so, sooooo much.

See you tomorrow.

Day 35.

Triceps? Still hurt. Seriously.

Also, my knee hurts tonight. I was carrying Lilly up the stairs in her car seat because we got home LATE (thanks crappy weather) and my left knee was popping and I was limping all the way up. Kind of a worry, maybe?

But otherwise it was a solid day. Not only did I accomplish quite a bit with school, mostly weasel my way out of my News Writing group project but I also got a good work out in.

I did my 40 on the Hell Machine with ease which means it's probably time to up to 45. Ugh. Then I did the Vertical Chest press, Fly Thing, Biceps, Triceps, Lats and Abs. When doing Lats and Abs I can really, really feel it but now, nothing. Which is strange to me. I think that I'm supposed to hurt later, right? Hurm...

The rock wall is neat looking. I frequently see people climbing it and there are some dudes that make it look frighteningly easy. Then again, there are dudes benching 300 pounds that make it look easy too. I'm not really brave enough to try either. Actually I'm not brave enough to fail at either. Just keeping it real, folks.

Speaking of dudes benching 300 pounds, I see a lot of them drinking powdered beverages of some sort. I'm assuming that this is either protein or creatine. Can anyone confirm or deny and explain exactly what the point is? Should I be doing these things as well? Vanessa says probably not but I would like to explore the idea before ruling it out altogether.

I did have a protein shake after my workout and it was... protein-y. It wasn't bad, but it definitely tasted different. YahooAnswers says that I should consume one right before and right after working out for best results. This is confusing. It was also almost $3. This seems like kind of a racket...

I swear that I had other interesting things to say, but apparently I overestimated my ability to be interesting.

Breakfast:
2 servings of Special K Granola cereal with Vanilla Yogurt
2 pieces of white toast with butter and apple butter (Vanessa made it for me!)

Snack:
32 oz Strawberry Oasis Smoothie
Yogurt pretzels (spread these out through the whole day)

Lunch:
Turkey pastrami sandwich with provolone cheese and mustard
Small bag of Sun Chips
Strawberry Cream Protein Shake

Dinner:
1/2 of a Cuban Chicken Panini from Panera
Bowl of French Onion Soup

Panera was OUT OF EVERYTHING, by the way. They had a sign on the door that said, "We're out of coffee." They had three soups. They were out of all of the interesting breads. My sandwich was on wheat bread, not focaccia and I wanted focaccia dammit! But they looked like they were having a rough night, so I was nice.

Lots of water today.

See you tomorrow.

Day 34.

My triceps still fricking hurt.

I spent most of the day with the kids which is a workout in and of itself. I pulled Lilly off of the stairs no less than 12 times. Yelling at her just makes her smile a ridiculous toothless smile and it is impossible not to melt inside.

She sat and watched me make dinner and I'd throw pieces of clementine and banana and frozen vegetables on her tray. It was super fun.

I picked Matt up from school and he started throwing a tantrum about blueberries in his muffin. The teacher picked him up and he was wailing and I went and grabbed him and he chilled immediately. He kept snuggling up to me and I was kissing his cheek and he gave me a snotty kiss on the lips. And, again, I melted. It was awesome.

I love my kids a lot. I don't care if being a dad makes me lame, it is totally awesome.

I had to be home to meet the washer repairman (who left as I was walking the door, by the way) so I didn't hit the gym today. I did get lunch at Taco Bell though. Then I picked up Matt and missed the repairman.

But I did yoga after the kids went to bed. I really meant to do it earlier, like RIGHT after they went to bed. But Back to the Future II was on aaaaaand... it distracted me. I love those movies.

And that was my day. It was pretty awesome.

Breakfast:
6 egg whites and 2 yolks (I gave Lilly some, so you can probably drop it to 5 and 1) with hot sauce
2 pieces of Oat toast something or other with butter

Lunch:
2 Fresco Chicken Burrito Supremes
1/2 an order of Cinnamon Twists

Dinner:
Red beans and rice with kielbasa
Salad with carrots, onions, cucumbers and House Italian dressing

Lotta water today. I was impressed with my water intake.

See you tomorrow.

Day 33.

It is hard to stay on a healthy eating track when there are so many delicious foods out there that aren't good for you. And when it is given to you for free. I can kill some free pizza. Like seriously. If pizza was people, I would be in jail. For one million consecutive life sentences.

My News Writing class visited a restaurant in Youngstown called Joe's Restaurant to learn about the history of Brier Hill. It was interesting and there was free pizza. Probably the best News Writing class that I've had all semester. Because I hate that class. A lot.

But I killed some pizza.

Then I hit the Hell Machine for 40 minutes and did some weights. Rowing, Flying, a weird back press thingy to work out my lower back and then the ab isolator. I finished on a tricep extension machine that was TOUGH. The tricep is not something I use on a regular basis, apparently. Gonna keep working it, though.

I think that this blog needs to have some kind of a shelf life. My goal is 365 days. One year of working days. That is the end date for this blog and the measure of my success. If 365 days from now I still weigh 270 pounds then I will have failed (unless I am ripped like WHOA). But if I weigh in at less than 225 then I will consider it a success, obviously.

At the very least I will be more aware of my body, the way I treat it and the things that I put into it. Which is another victory. So. We'll see how this thing goes.

I've got a small health care thing I want to talk about, but I'm going to save it for tomorrow, I think.

Breakfast:
2 servings of Special K Granola with blueberry yogurt
2 pieces of white toast with apple butter

First Lunch:
5 pieces of pizza (it was the square cut, not the pie cut, so they were small pieces)

Snack:
Fiber One bar

Second Lunch:
1/2 a carrot
1/2 a pear
Turkey pastrami sandwich with provolone cheese and mustard

Dinner:
An apple
One serving of Special K granola with Vanilla Yogurt

We also discovered that we didn't buy Light yogurt. The difference in the sugars alone is enough to make me cringe.

See you tomorrow!

Day 32.

"Locker Room Scripture: a short play."
By Jay Beane

Characters--
Guy 1, seated
Guy 2, looks like Lil Wayne
Observer, chubby, tattooed

We join the conversation

Guy 1: No, man, you don't know my thoughts.
Guy 2: OK, but what about upstairs? What'd you say?"
Guy 1: When?
Guy 2: 'Look at her waist.'
Guy 1: But you don't know what I was thinking (points to his head).
Guy 2: Sinning is sinning.
Guy 1: You don't know what I was thinking though.
Guy 2: Is that any different than 'Look at her booty?'
(At this point Guy 2 looks at Observer with his eyebrows raised. Observer shakes his head.)
Observer: That's no different at all.
(Guy 2 looks back at Guy 1.)
Guy 2: See?
Guy 1: You don't know what I was thinking. I could tell you anything, but I know what I was thinking. And I wasn't thinking that.
Guy 2: Sinning is sinning.
Guy 1: It's not about what you think I was thinking, but what I was thinking. And it's about what scripture says and I know what scripture says.
Guy 2: What about cursing?
Guy 1: I don't curse.
Guy 2: You said 'nigga' on Facebook yesterday.
Guy 1: 'Nigga' isn't a curse.
Guy 2: Yes it is.
Guy 1: Show me in scripture where cursing is a sin.
Guy 2: 'Nigga' is a curse.
Guy 1: Show me in scripture.
(At this point they begin to exit the locker room, their conversation fading as they exit.)

END.

A pretty accurate description of the conversation that I overheard today. By far the funniest thing I've heard yet.

Did 40 on the Hell Machine which was difficult but rewarding. I don't even know what that means. But I felt pretty solid after I did it. Then I went on to lift some weights and it didn't suck today. I could do it. It definitely helps when the machine is set up correctly AND you've had a day off to rest those muscles. I did bicep curls, rowing, and the incline chest press. Sets of 15, 12, 10 with the weight going up each time, two times each machine.

I also did this thing called the Abdominal Isolator. Basically it is like doing crunches in a seated position with weights. I just played with it today, but I'm going to go back to it again and get a better feel for it. Right now my abs don't hurt, so I don't think that I did a lot with it. Then again, it's still early.

Should've done yoga tonight. I need to get a regular rotation with that. Tuesday and Thursday are late nights, so they're almost always out. Maybe a MWFSu schedule for that. We shall see.

Breakfast:
2 servings of Special K Vanilla Almond with Vanilla yogurt
2 pieces of white toast with Apple Butter
1 banana

Snack:
MEGA COLOSSAL PROTEIN BAR THING
(intended for this to be my mid-day meal but it didn't work like that. Mostly because I'm always FAMISHED after a workout and I ate this pre-workout. It was pretty good though.)

Lunch:
12" Turkey sub on wheat with provolone, lettuce, tomato, pickles and mustard. Toasted.
32 oz. Strawberry Oasis plus protein powder smoothie (I love these.)

Dinner:
Cheeseburger with ketchup, mustard and pickle
Broccoli, cheese and rice
Salad with all kinds of crap in it and House Italian dressing.

Lots of water today. Probably could have done more.

See you tomorrow!

Day 31.

NO ONE REMINDED ME TO DO YOGA.

But I did it anyway.

And it was like starting all over again from scratch. Except that I knew exactly what I was getting into this time. So while I was breathing heavily and sweating profusely I couldn't blame ignorance. I had to suck it up and take it like a man. A man that wanted to cry like a little girl.

But I did it. Yay for me. Back to the gym tomorrow.

Breakfast:
2 servings of Special K Vanilla Almond cereal with Vanilla yogurt
2 pieces of toast with Apple Butter

Lunch:
Leftover homemade fried rice
1/2 a clementine
1 container of Strawberry yogurt

Dinner:
Spaghetti bake
Leftover Luigis pizza
Salad with cucumber, three types of lettuce, carrots and House Italian dressing

Ice cream for dessert.

I feel like I haven't had enough water this weekend. I need to get with that. Dammit.

See you tomorrow.

Day 30.

Day of rest, kind of.

Vanessa and I slept in until 1030, which is the first time in a looooong time. I shipped a package, we hit the DMV to attempt to get our new driver's license (current address and her new name) and the tags renewed on the Pontiac. Did I mention that I got pulled over yesterday because the tags were expired? I did. I was pissed. No ticket, but still kind of an inconvenience.

Things went quickly downhill because we didn't have an E-check done and we also didn't have any mail with our current address. So I waited in line for almost half an hour for nothing. It was pretty annoying.

Then we came home, Vanessa napped and I ran some errands, which included lunch with Smooth Danny K at A&W. Sometimes I feel like this is more of a food blog than a workout blog because I always talk about what I'm eating and I always throw in "It was delicious!" Because A&W was totally delicious. I know, I know--it's a hot dog with coney sauce, cheese and onions. But it was freaking fantastic.

After lunch I came home and worked on the office, organizing DVDs and books as well as setting up GI Joes. I got a lot done but there is still a lot to do. I might not have worked out today, but I did walk up the stairs with books in my arms a bunch of times.

I want to do some yoga tomorrow. Or today, if you're reading this on Sunday. Someone remind me.

Had Luigi's for dinner. And you know what. Delicious.

Breakfast:
None.

Lunch:
2 A&W Foot Long Coneys with onions and cheese
Small fry
Diet Root Beer

Dinner
2 pieces of pizza with pepperoni and mushroom
part of a salad
an apple an 1/3

Not as much water as I should have.

See you tomorrow.

Day 29.

TODAY SUCKED. The gym was hard as hell. Apparently that whole taking a day off when lifting thing isn't something they say without reason. Because today I couldn't lift ANYTHING. I went to do bicep curls at the same weight as yesterday and did 5 before I thought my arms were going to give. So I bumped it down. And I did 1 curl. Veeeeeeery slowly.

I think that it's possible that I didn't adjust the pad on the machine. That would explain a little bit of the difficulty because I don't think my arms would be that tired. I'm sore but I'm not SORE. I can lift my arm or a baby or something without any strain.

Even my 30 minutes on the Hell Machine was tougher than normal but that was because I bumped the resistance up a notch. I figured out that I could manually adjust the time on the thing to bump the time up so I can start building my time back up without jumping from 30 to 60 minutes.

The kids are staying the night at Grammy Vickie's house so Vanessa and I went to dinner and grocery shopping. Which sounds kind of unexciting but we had a good time. We had plans to go to an art show in downtown but ended up spending a lot of time at the grocery store.

We saw people lining up for New Moon and I started hating on them pretty hardcore. Then I remembered when I worked at Barnes & Noble for the last Harry Potter release party. It was one of the best nights I had at work. It was fun. So I felt bad for hating. But whatever. Twilight is lame.

Food Network is on in the background and they're talking about deep fried candy bars. It looks amazing.

Dammit.

Anyway.

Breakfast:
1 1/2 cups of some Special K Granola cereal with milk
2 pieces of Oat toast with Apple Butter

Lunch:
2 Vegetarian Apple Oat bar things.

Dinner:
SUSHI.
1 piece of Nagiri with either Tuna or Salmon. I forget.
5 or 6 pieces of Super Monkey Roll
3 pieces of Volcano Roll
1 egg roll
1/2 bowl of Wanton Soup

Lots of water. The end.

See you tomorrow.

Day... um, 28?

We're just going to continue the days from where I left off, even though that is grossly inaccurate.

My hiatus lasted a bit longer than planned, obviously, and it was not a good hiatus, really. Mostly because I didn't workout and I ate pretty terribly. Like Swenson's three times. At least. And pizza a bunch. I regret the calories but not the deliciousness, because there was a metric crap-ton of deliciousness.

I did lift a bunch of heavy stuff many times over my hiatus though. Moving will do that. My desk? A total bitch. Lilly's dresser? Even worse. But with the help of some friends, it all got done. The new house is pretty awesome. A lot of stairs which should help my cause quite a bit.

I didn't head back to the gym on Monday but I started back on Tuesday. It was hard making myself go back. I really didn't want to and I can't sustain it for the same amount of time I did before my break. I did 35 minutes on the Hell Machine all three days and I've been doing a lot of weight lifting.

I know that you're supposed to switch days for the weights and stuff, but I have not done that. I don't do ALL of the same machines every day but I definitely do the Rowing and Fly(?) machines every time. I've done some bench press, a couple leg machines, bicep curls... whatever sounds fun. Yeah, I totally called weightlifting fun. Who have I become? I also added the bike for 20 minutes today. I really need to get myself back up to an hour and I figured that pushing myself on some other things would be a good idea.

I could be wrong though.

I also need to stop eating at UPie. The food is SO FREAKING AMAZING though. The chef, Tank, convinced me to order some bread pudding today. I don't even like bread pudding. But I did it. And, yeah, it was fantastic. The man is amazing. When I become rich, I'm going to hire him as my personal chef and just get yearly liposuction treatments instead of all this working out crap.

The day isn't over yet, so I'm not going to post my meals. I'll start that again tomorrow night.

So, see you then!

Quick update.

No internet at the new house yet so just a quick update.

Back on the wagon after taking all of last week off. It was hard getting back into it but I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and lifted some weights. Felt good and bad. Bad mostly because I REALLY didn't want to.

But I did it.

Long update tomorrow.

See you then.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Brief hiatus.

I'm on spring break this week and we're moving. So I'm not going to be updating for a few days. I should be back next Monday.

Rest assured that while I'm away I will be doing my best to maintain my healthy lifestyle by eating right and continuing to workout.

Don't miss me too much.

Day 27.

I wish I could say that today was interesting. It was not. It was another lie around the house day.

Lilly is feeling a lot better, which is awesome. It's weird how she changes everyday and develops more of a personality. Both of the kids are ridiculously funny. I hope they stay that way. I hope they always like me as much as they do now.

Did yoga once today, 20 minute workout. Helping Kris move tomorrow, so I should get a decent workout doing that but I'll probably still do yoga at some point.

I swear that I said I was going to make today interesting. I guess that I failed miserably. If it counts for anything, I had a wonderful time laying on the couch while the kids ran around. In fact, forget it, today was awesome.

Vanessa and I did do a walk-through on the new place and found all kinds of little things that we'd like the landlord to fix. Said landlord also left us a gift basket and a bottle of wine, which was super nice.

I also feel like my gum is inflamed or something. I seriously hope it isn't a cavity. Either way, my mouth is kind of hurting and it only happened within the last hour or so...

Breakfast:
2 servings of Cream of Wheat with Wheat Germ and blueberries
2 pieces of Protein Plus toast with butter

Lunch:
Was spread out over two hours
Leftover Chicken Tikki Masala
2 dill pickle spears
1 cup of Dannon Cherry Vanilla Yogurt
A bunch of peanuts

Dinner:
Was really late tonight
Burrito bowl from Chipotle, lettuce, beans, chicken, tomato and corn salsa with light cheese

CHIPOTLE WAS OUT OF TWO TYPE OF SALSA. How does this happen? Seriously, WTF? You have, like, ten things on your menu. How do you run out of ANY of them? Weird. Burrito bowl was still awesome. I'm just saying.

See you tomorrow. No promises on tomorrow being any more interesting than today...

Day 26.

Didn't go to class today as a result of the late night last night.

Staying home generally leads to an incredibly quiet and unproductive day. Which is OK. I like that every now and again. And it was a vaguely productive unproductive day. I ran a few errands (picked up Lilly's prescription and got mine refilled) and did yoga twice.

That's right. Twice. No other gym time but that's OK because I. Did. Yoga. Twice. Just saying. Me and DDP. We're bros.

Speaking of which, my book showed up in the mail today. The book is a good accent to the DVD but without the DVD, I don't know that the book would do a lot for me. Mostly because I can't see the stuff in motion so I would have a hard time connecting the dots. But there's a ton of great information in the book that isn't on the DVD like how to breathe properly and other random stuff. I've honestly only flipped through it at this point, but I really like what I've seen.

The most interesting thing was this bread that he mentioned. It's completely flour-less. And, he claims, delicious. So I'm going to give it a try.

He also buys 40 pounds of carrots and juices them with about 1000 pounds of other stuff. Every other week. Sorry, dude, I don't have that kind of scratch. But I'm totally into the idea of some juicing.

But I'm not going to lie to you. I ate a Reese's Egg.

AND IT WAS DELICIOUS.

Breakfast:
Oatmeal with Splenda and Wheat Germ and Flax
2 pieces of Protein Plus toast with butter
1\2 an apple

Lunch:
1 1/2 Leftover Tilapia filet
Brown rice with black beans

Dinner:
Homemade Chicken Tikki Masala
Homemade Naan
Brown rice with black beans

Snacks:
1/2 of a South Beach Cinnamon Raisin bar
1 cup of Dannon Pineapple Coconut Yogurt

Water, water, water... and some more water.

See you tomorrow. Chances are, another uninteresting day. Sorry in advance.

Day 25.

Tom: I know!

Sheena: yes, I know that it is an elliptical, but it is far worse than other ellipticals. Which is why it is called the Hell Machine.

DDP: Holy crap. Totally had a nerd moment when I got your message. (If you're confused, dear reader, check the comments for day 24. DDP commented. Which is AWESOME.)

Everyone else: Thank you for reading, even if you don't comment. I've had a couple of random conversations with people who read and I can't tell you how awesome it is to hear the feedback from people. I love comments and feedback and hearing from everyone. Which is exactly why I started the blog. So, seriously, THANK YOU. Keep reading and I promise that I'll try to keep it interesting.

Anyway, on to the real blog stuff.

Today was not super productive, workout-wise.

After putting the deposit down on our new apartment last night, Vanessa and I celebrated by having lunch at UPie today. Which cut into gym time which was cut even shorter by the fact that I had an exam that I needed to study for.

When I got to the gym, both Hell Machines were taken. So I figured I would kill some time on a bike. A lady sat down next to me looking for the Power button. There isn't one; you start pedaling and it turns on. So I told her. Then, after a few minutes, she asked me about the seat shaking (It is one of these models). And we chatted for a bit; she kind of reminded me of my mom. But she works in the library and said that she can help me with late fees if I ever need it. So, I've got an in.

But my time quickly turned into 25 minutes and I had seen the Hell Machines empty and then fill again. I was bummed, but hopped on to a regular elliptical.

I didn't like it.

I like the Hell Machine because it isn't on a track and allows for a natural movement. The other ones are on a track and the movement is stifled. I just wasn't a fan.

I planned on coming home and doing some more Yoga, so I did 35 on the elliptical and called it quits to study. But Vanessa was out of class so we went to pick Lilly up from her grandpa's house.

She was not feeling well and ended up puking all over me. On top of that, she felt like she was on fire, so we decided to take her to the ER and have her checked out. She ended up with Bronchiolitis, an ear infection AND a cold. They treated the Bronchiolitis with a breathing machine which she HATED. I had to hold her down and try to keep the breathing thing in the right position while she stared at me, crying.

Her eyes just said, "WHY DAD? WHY?" It kind of broke my heart.

But then they gave her some stuff for the ear infection and one of the two things hyped her up and she was going nucking futs. She wanted up then down, wanted to crawl, wanted to fly, wanted down then up, crawl, walk, over my shoulder. On repeat. It was really hilarious and made me feel a lot better.

Which was good because being in the hospital with a sick baby is awful, even if it's minor. The computer monitor kept showing a picture of the waiting room where we sat while Adam was in the hospital and it triggered some stuff. I'm just glad that she is OK and it's over.

So I didn't end up doing Yoga and I'm not going to school tomorrow because it is very late.

Since I won't be on campus I might try doing the yoga twice, once in the morning and once in the evening.

Breakfast:
2 servings of Cheerios with Dannon Pineapple Coconut yogurt and blueberries
1 piece of Protein Plus toast with butter

Lunch:
Half of a Greek salad with lamb (like, real, grilled lamb, not pressed gyro meat), lettuce, feta cheese, tomatoes and cucumber sauce--this was the best salad that I have ever had. If I ever win the lottery, I'm going to hire Tank to be my personal chef.
3 pieces of pizza with pepperoni and mushroom (It was a celebration lunch! And it was a small pizza, so there's a conversion thing that you have to do...)
2 glasses of Diet Coke (I was going to order a water, but the waitress brought the stuff before I could and refilled it before I could say otherwise... and I don't want to make our server mad. Plus, she's nice.)

Dinner:
Was late, so we got drive-thru from Taco Bell.
2 Fresco Burrito Supremes with Chicken and Mild sauce (I asked for Hot!) which were actually really tasty.

Not a great eating day, really. That lunch might have been kind of a killer. But it tasted sooooo good.

See you tomorrow!

Day 24.

YOGA. IS. HARD.

My best friend Dan pointed me in the direction of a "humorous" Yoga DVD called Yoga for Regular Guys. It is "humorous" because it is taught by former WCW/WWE/TNA wrestler Diamond Dallas page, he of the Self High Five and Diamond Cutter fame. The DVD and accompanying book are completely in character. There isn't a lot of talking on the DVD because, once again: YOGA. IS. HARD.

I thought, "Oh, this is for regular guys and it's by a wrestler, how bad could it be?"

After the 20-minute workout, my entire body is sore. I feel like I got hit by a train. Or like I was on the receiving end of a Diamond Cutter--FROM THE TOP ROPE!

It was actually kind of fun and not a bad way to spend 20 minutes (although it actually runs closer to 30 for some reason, excess talking, maybe?). And I can feel it. I'm excited to do it again.

WHO AM I?

Also did 65 on the Hell Machine and some weight training.

Tom, the Hell Machine looks like this:



I'm sure that you're thinking to yourself, "That doesn't look so bad." Well you are wrong. It feels like this:



Also, in regards to locker room talk: even weirder than "gay" talk? No talk at all. When you have six guys changing in one section of the locker room and NONE OF THEM ARE TALKING, you suddenly start to wish someone would say, "Nice pecs, bro."

Breakfast:
2 servings of Cheerios with milk, a little Splenda and some frozen blueberries
1 piece of Protein Plus toast with butter

Lunch:
Vegan Oatmeal bar thing, Cranberry flavor

Dinner:
1 1/2 Tilapia filets
Brown rice and black beans
Mixed veggies

A LOT of water today. When I got to school, I thought I was going to explode. I ran people over and pushed old women out of the way to get to the bathroom.

Just saying.

And as a final goodbye for the evening, enjoy this video clip. See you tomorrow.

Day 23.

I'm running out of interesting things to say. After 23 straight days of blogging on one subject that was bound to happen. of course, some people might say that I never had anything interesting to say in the first place.

They would be jerks.

Anyway, did a 5 minute warm up on the treadmill because both Hell Machines were taken. When I hopped off after five minutes, I imagined someone saying, "Ha, fatty could only take 5 minutes." Then I went and did 65 minutes on the hell machine. 65 really hard minutes. Today was rough and I don't know why. Tired? I don't know, but it was a hard road to row. But I did it. Then I spent 20 minutes on the bike. For "fun." It was not actually fun. That is why I used quotation marks.

Locker room talk is the weirdest thing in the world. Because it is so incredibly, over the top gay and it is done by guys who would probably FLIP OUT if you said that to them. I know that this sounds vaguely homophobic but it really isn't intended to be. Here are some examples of conversations that I have overheard:

"Oh, dude, you look really skinny."
"Thanks. I've been working my abs really hard."

"Dude, you look huge."

OK, that might be the extent of my examples at the moment, but you get the point. They might as well drop to their knees afterword.

Too far?

I'll be more PG tomorrow. Maybe.

Breakfast:
2 servings of Cheerios with Splenda on top and milk
1 piece of Protein Plus toast with butter and Raspberry jelly

Lunch:
1 turkey and ham sandwich on Protein Plus bread with mustard and provolone
2 Clausen Pickle Spears
1 carrot, cut into slices
1 Dannon Blueberry Yogurt
1/2 an apple
32 oz. Freshens Strawberry Oasis smoothie

Dinner:
1 1/2 pieces of Sweet Italian Sausage
Zataran's Red beans and rice
6 baby carrots
1/2 cucumber, cut into slices

Lots of water.

Took a nap on campus instead of reading for Mythology. Oops. That quiz is going to be rough.

Wish me luck. See you tomorrow.

Day 22.

Official weigh-in is 271. Actually, it is exactly 270.7, but I rounded it up.

Today was a pretty great day, all around. It is Vanessa's birthday and she's 25 now. When we met she was only 19. That seems crazy and like it should be forever ago, but it doesn't feel like a long time. We had dinner with Dan, Sheena and Jeremy and it was awesome, even if our waiter wasn't so good.

I did 65 minutes on the Hell Machine today and I pushed myself a little bit harder and realized that I was actually kind of jogging. JOGGING. That is just a step below running. And I did it for a full 65 minutes. 5.5 miles. I burned 785 calories. That is intense. I'm kind of proud of myself. I also did some weights: mostly upper body, but some leg stuff as well.

Vanessa and I wandered around Home Goods and Target after dinner. It was a nice way to spend some time together and decompress. It was late, so Target was pretty empty and quiet. I really enjoy spending time with her, so I guess this whole marriage thing might work out.

Breakfast:
2 servings of plain old Cheerios with milk and a little Vanilla creamer
1 piece of Protein Plus toast (IT RETURNS) with butter and a little bit too much Raspberry jelly
1 banana

Lunch:
6 inch Turkey sub with mustard, provolone, lettuce, tomato and pickle
Large Strawberry Oasis smoothie with Protein Powder

Dinner:
SUSHI!
3 or 4 pieces of Spicy Crab Roll
3 or 4 pieces of Philly Roll
Most of the Special Maki 2 which had avocado, shrimp, tempura shrimp and crab
Small portion of General Tso's with White Rice

Dinner was so effing good. I could eat sushi every day.

See you tomorrow.